K V V P Λ . B ᄂ Ө G

find your heart and hope for better days

CW: #depression #sadness #defeatism #chronicillness

5:36am Friday morning, no sleep. Right now reflecting on #friendships, current broken and lost. #Conflict has been the cornerstone of my relationships. Conflict perhaps most have likely written off as the #angry tirades of a #sick man; and perhaps reasonably so.

I wrote not long ago about a #psychiatry appointment. It went extremely well on multiple fronts, but it did leave me with an understanding of where I am now. On a scale of 1 to 7, 7 being the most mentally ill, I am a 5: “Markedly Ill”.

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There used to be a venue in Western Washington that was host to a vibrant alternative music scene. That's not what this is going to be about, because that place died when the shows died.

This is about a Dilla worker who decided to treat my family and I like garbage today. I don't really need to recap the details. Simply: we were unexpectedly treated viciously and unfairly by a complete stranger.

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CW: #trauma, #prescriptiondrugs, #therapy, #marijuana, #depression, #anxiety, #adhd.

Today, I am doing something I have long put off: I'm seeing a #psychiatrist (yep, that's right. I air out everything. It's truly a sickness of mine).

I'd be dishonest if I ignored the fact that the last 5+ years of my life have been awful. There's all the typical “Joey shit” going on; bitterness about the past, not knowing what path to take next, self-loathing- BUT there's 5 years of really, really, really traumatic stuff layered on top.

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...and so I say: hello!

My name is Joey, online I go by KVVPA. Imagine the V's as O's and that's the pronunciation.

A few days ago I decided (not the first time, I admit) to can the social media accounts. My only exception will be for if/when I need to promote something. Right now I'm getting ready to go back to school and trying to get my brain and body healthy. I have nothing to promote.

At some point I will stream again on Twitch. If that happens I'll set up some “IFTTT”-type system to post on the Facebook page, Instagram, and Twitter. I won't install those apps again (including messenger) unless a complete overhaul is done on how they handle personal data.

Not an exciting post, but it's the first post nonetheless. I can be found still in a few places, which will update as I join more freedom-respecting online services.

I may port over some blog entries from the various places. Only the good ones, though. So be on the lookout!

Profile Picture featuring KVVPA's mascot - K V V P Λ  [e-mail] [website]
30-something, he/him, pnw. “Retired” show promoter and scene kid, a not-very-good gamer, depressed most of the time. I'm big into music, animation (old Nickelodeon), spooky things, self-care, and my family.

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