K V V P Λ . B ᄂ Ө G

anxiety

As someone who struggles daily from #anxiety & #depression, among o t h e r t h i n g s, it's difficult sometimes to just calm down and let life be. I am an ambitious and creative person who is deeply empathetic. I'm also someone who has been used and abused by a lot of “friends” and yes, family.

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CW: #depression #sadness #defeatism #chronicillness

5:36am Friday morning, no sleep. Right now reflecting on #friendships, current broken and lost. #Conflict has been the cornerstone of my relationships. Conflict perhaps most have likely written off as the #angry tirades of a #sick man; and perhaps reasonably so.

I wrote not long ago about a #psychiatry appointment. It went extremely well on multiple fronts, but it did leave me with an understanding of where I am now. On a scale of 1 to 7, 7 being the most mentally ill, I am a 5: “Markedly Ill”.

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CW: #trauma, #prescriptiondrugs, #therapy, #marijuana, #depression, #anxiety, #adhd.

Today, I am doing something I have long put off: I'm seeing a #psychiatrist (yep, that's right. I air out everything. It's truly a sickness of mine).

I'd be dishonest if I ignored the fact that the last 5+ years of my life have been awful. There's all the typical “Joey shit” going on; bitterness about the past, not knowing what path to take next, self-loathing- BUT there's 5 years of really, really, really traumatic stuff layered on top.

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