A solemn anthem sung by a talented young girl. I imagine the millions of people, men and women, listening to this song and feeling all sorts of feelings. What does it make you feel? Guilt? Pain?
It's a reality that power dynamics are always at play in every interaction we have. This dance is most evident in romantic relationships, but it's also true about our friendships and family relationships. The fact is: we have all been on the input and output side of this. We've all abused our power at some point. We've all done something to get what we want at the expense of someone else's feelings, or worse.
I wish I could say that my intentions have always been unselfish and with the best in mind for the other. I think I strive to this aim on a daily basis but fail at it on a daily basis. On this note I also remember the many times I've been on the receiving end of selfish and hurtful power plays.
I am a sensitive person, and I get hurt very easily. When I'm hurt, I tend to more easily hurt others. It's a cyclical process that leaves me alone and sad.
I wish I could fix my errors. I wish I could resolve the pain and hurt I've caused, and I wish that I could receive some of that same resolve. But it seems that I am the only one in agony over these things, while the rest of the world just moves on like nothing happened.
Try not to abuse your power. I know we didn't choose to change. You might not want to lose your power. But power isn't pain.
- K V V P Λ [e-mail] [website]
30-something, he/him, pnw. “Retired” show promoter and scene kid, a not-very-good gamer, depressed most of the time. I'm big into music, animation (old Nickelodeon), spooky things, self-care, and my family.