kvvpa.blog

find your heart and hope for better days

We're nearly halfway through 2022. There's plenty to say, but I'd say in general things are on the up n' up. There has been some down points this year for sure. We lost my grandma (Gammy). There's been a few other trials. What's nice is I seem to be emotionally handling things better than before. Huge win for me.

I just spent the weekend with some friends. We rented an airbnb and went to a sold-out show at El Corazon in Seattle. This was a nice step for me to get out into the real world again. The few days away from home really helped my brain. I don't know why but I always need to get away for clarity and peace of mind. I need to remember this truth about myself.

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I still be out here vomiting emotions onto a blog on the internet. Not many people seem to do much of that these days. There's this constant striving to show your life in a joyous light instead. Look at these great smiling happy photos! Look at these successes! Look at these interesting things that I do! Look how strong and tough I am, with my public opinions and powerful statements.

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It's 9PM. No plans. Snow outside. Another lonely night. Another sad track. Another weird moment in my life. I've gone through so much. I'm so different. There's so much to reflect on. There's so much to mourn. There's so much to cry about. There's so much to laugh about. There's so much to be mad about. There's so much to be grateful for.

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When I started this blog, it was partially my reaction to rampant 'fakeness' via social media. Back in the day, we'd write on our public bloggers and livejournals and it was cathartic. People would respond. You'd follow each other's blogs and let those deep feelings and thoughts out without (too much) fear of being judged.

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In 2016 my life completely changed. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It was a terrifying time. Unfortunately for me, the tragedies had only begun. My life was swept up in a whirlwind of misfortune. Just as Job suffered, my family and I suffered. Loss, illness, broken relationships, abuse, legal battles; it's been a nightmare..

An introdution occurred through a mutual friend shortly after my DX. She was somebody around my age who had a more severe case of MS than mine; nevertheless greeted me online with warmth and acceptance. She had been struggling with secondary progressive MS, and had words of encouragement for me. When I met her in person, she was in-patient at Swedish in Seattle, Washington.

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My tagline. What's it about? Quite simply, it's from a song by an old local band called A Hope For Home.

We're running with rusty gears, we're breaking down Please, don't let this die. We only have so long in this life So find your heart and hope for better days

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